The holiday season is quickly approaching, and for many families, this Thanksgiving will be the first time your college freshman returns home. After months away, your student may look forward to home comforts, reconnecting with family, and reuniting with friends. While this is a joyous occasion, it can also come with a few unexpected challenges. Here are some tips to help both you and your freshman have a smooth and fulfilling Thanksgiving break.
College can be a whirlwind, especially during the first semester. The academic pressure, social life, and newfound independence are all still new, and your student might come home feeling physically and mentally drained. Allowing them some extra downtime during this break can help them truly relax and reset. Let them sleep in, lounge around, and enjoy a bit of freedom from their college routine.
While your student will likely want to spend time with family, they may also have plans to reconnect with high school friends. Having an open conversation about family expectations can go a long way in setting the tone for the visit. Discuss any family gatherings or traditions they’re expected to attend and encourage them to find a balance between family commitments and time with friends. Letting them know you respect their independence while valuing their presence can help ease any potential tension.
College brings new experiences, people, and ideas, and your student may return with fresh perspectives or different behaviors than you remember. They might be more outspoken about issues, have new interests, or bring up topics they’re exploring in classes. Embrace these changes as signs of growth, even if their viewpoints don’t always align with yours. They’re in the exciting (and sometimes tumultuous) process of becoming more independent. Rather than challenging new opinions, engage in conversations with curiosity and openness—this can strengthen your relationship.
One of the first questions that comes to mind for many parents is, “How are classes going?” While this is a natural and caring question, consider that the adjustment to college academics can be challenging, especially for freshmen. They may still be finding their footing and might feel uncertain about their grades. A supportive, non-pressuring approach can encourage them to open up if they’re struggling, while also reassuring them that they don’t need to have it all figured out right away.
Thanksgiving break is a short visit—typically just a few days—so resist the urge to fill every moment with activities and obligations. Your student will likely appreciate some flexibility in their schedule. Give them space to reconnect with home at their own pace, whether that means relaxing, running errands, or catching up with old friends. A low-key approach can help them feel comfortable and truly at home during their stay.
While your student was away, they’ve probably adjusted to more independence and may not expect the same household rules as before. Discussing any specific expectations—like curfew, chores, or plans for using the family car—can prevent misunderstandings and help everyone feel respected. Setting these boundaries together can show that you respect their newfound independence while creating a smooth and comfortable environment for the whole family.
College is a time of transformation, and even after just a few months, your freshman may be showing new levels of confidence, maturity, and responsibility. Recognizing these changes and celebrating their growth will not only affirm their hard work but also help foster a strong parent-child relationship. Compliment their achievements, support their aspirations, and show them that you’re proud of who they’re becoming.
This first Thanksgiving break is a special milestone. It marks the transition from your child’s role in the household to their role as an independent young adult. Rather than focusing on potential differences or expectations, enjoy the little moments together. Remember, the first Thanksgiving back home only happens once, and it’s an opportunity to create warm memories that will become a cherished part of their college journey.
Thanksgiving break is a time for family connection and comfort, and with a little openness and understanding, you can help your college freshman feel truly at home. Embrace this new phase with them—it’s a journey for both of you! Happy Thanksgiving!